Muddle of Wants

To want one thing

But not knowing how badly you want it

Whether your other wants are more important

A muddle of wants each shoving the other

How fickle the mind is

And how difficult it is to fixate

A simmering want to become a blazing passion

Why does it just not happen

Even when you want it

Is it being greedy?

Or just plain foolish?

A person with many plans

Is sometimes, a person without any

One with many a purpose

Does not fulfil maybe not one

But is it okay to settle for less

Knowing well you’ll resent yourself later

No it’s not, try one must

At least I know that I will

Ending up with nothing I won’t

As what defines nothing now, may very well change

And it might one day be everything

A treasure trove of content and memories.

To dive into, and come out smiling.

Vani Venugopal,

Sept. 5th 2013,

On yet another evening of too much thinking when there's too much to do.

"Dedicated to that hope which keeps us all going, which we doubt at times but still comes back to push us."

The 67th year of Independent india and yet, Swaraj eludes us

"This day I salute all the great leaders and martyrs of our country, and all our Jawans braving it out every second so that you and I may live in peace. I thank you, I revere you. And this Independence day, may we free ourselves from all shackles of the mind and otherwise, and do what we can to make each man, woman and child truly and rightfully free."

I shared this on Facebook last year on the eve of the Independence day and it seems to me like I wrote it a few weeks or months back.

 Yes, a year has gone by. But what has changed? More scams by the government, the country is still neck deep in corruption, poverty is accepted as a normal situation for millions, crime is rampant and criminals walk free among us. 

There were people, hungry and ailing, stranded due to the Uttarakhand floods but the government had to wait a couple of days to send relief supplies so that the 'heir' could flag off the trucks carrying them. I almost feel like deleting what I just wrote, it seems too absurd to be true. But yes, that happened.

I study in a college which boasts of some of the brightest minds of the country and yet,  once in a while, I hear of a story where a 'boy' studying here gets engaged to a girl through an 'arranged match' and is going to get a exorbitant sum of money as 'dowry'. And this prospective  acquest is celebrated by all his friends usually over drinks.

We go to many of the swanky malls nearby to hang out and have fun quite often. At every red light or traffic block our auto-rikshaw stops , a bunch of thin, impoverished kids flock to us begging for money but are always happy to run off in glee with candy or food, if offered. Fun then comes with a taste of guilt and a sense of sadness.

Women are raped and forgotten, female foeti are aborted, girls and boys are denied of a chance for a better life through education because they are just too poor. Of course a growling stomach comes first, they can't eat books.

The government repeatedly loots the people and then woos them with gifts and gets them to vote for them. The people feel grateful for how generous their government is, not realizing it's a pittance that's being spent on them compared to what has been taken from the country. 

We do protest sometimes , but then we forget again. We all want change but we are waiting for it to happen, and we are not really sure if it will. But every patriotic Indian among us has one other thing in common. Hope. Flaming hope to light a shining India. And faith that one day we shall all have true pride in our country in every way.

The Aam Aadmi Party lead by Arvind Kejriwal does provide a beacon of hope and I am curious to know what I'll be writing the next independence day.
Till then, a desperate and wholehearted yes to Swaraj and an untainted government of the people. 
Happy Independence day.
Jai Hind!

When Lightening Strikes

When Lightening Strikes

The tall angry flames which consume all in their path

Which spare no one from their wrath

The torrential rains which strike everything under

Washing through, to no might it does surrender

The cold wind which sweeps away every leaf on the ground

Brings down trees, rips apart fences like an furious hound

The air which the rich and poor breathe alike

The water which satiates the bedridden and the youngster on a hike

They all know no difference, it’s all the same to them

Whether it is me, whether it is you

Whether these are paddy fields or wastelands

But look at the lightening which knows where to strike

It strikes the chosen, there is no fair play

It might be you , it might be  me

And there’s no good reason why it is so

The going might be good

And all that you want yours

In the best of times tragedy might strike

You may ask why, you may ponder for long

But the answer, my friend, is this

That it is not always going to be fair

That it always was, up till now

Does not challenge what is to come

It comes as a blow, destroying the moment

But don’t let it take more than that

Because it has taken what it could,

Don’t give up what it didn’t

For that is for you to build on

And to build everything from it, yes, you can.

Vani Venugopal

8/4/2013, a fine spring night with mosquitoes having a party on my toes

What I Want

What I want

I want a lot of things

I am sure you do, too

I want your affection

And to assure me of it I need your attention

I want to see your face light up

When you see I am there

I want to see you frowning in concern

When you see I am a bit down

I want you to be there

Even for the most little of things

I want a lot of things

I am sure you do, too

Is it asking for much?

Is it asking for too much to get without asking?

If only you knew without me telling

And you see that it is done

I would become a princess

But a bound one at that

Bound by your love

Bound by how much you care

Bound by a bond which is wonderful and strong

Yes, every lucky soul is bound

And every soul is lucky to be thus bound

Vani Venugopal

7-04-2013,

Little room with no windows in Kailash Hostel

Just So

Just So

Like the happy birthday song which knows no age

Like the flowers of spring which wilt away

Like a child’s wailing which comes and goes

Like the clock on the wall which doesn't turn back

Like day and night which follow each other

Like the tweeting birds who lift my day

Like the green lawns which glisten with dew

Like the old man who has nowhere to go

Like the poor kid with a hungry stomach

Like the other kid who refuses to drink his milk

Some things are just so

Some things are unfair

Some things are blessings

And some things not ours

Like it takes more than eyes to see

And more than a mind to feel

An ache to make a bone’s presence felt

Sometimes we know, sometime we care

Sometimes we don’t and it’s not always our fault

It is only because some things are just them

And let us let them be, let us live on

Vani Venugopal

7-04-2013,

 X-.Hall in IIT Delhi

A Rapist’s Suicide Overtakes Justice

Ram Singh, the prime accused in the Delhi gang rape incident on Dec 16, 2012 has walked away scot free to the other world. He committed suicide! While there is a huge outrage about this lapse of security which  allowed him to kill himself, there is also wide spread suspicion of foul play, that is, murder.

 He has moved on, yes, and I only hope that it was murder! A brutal savage like him does not deserve to die on his own terms, or live, either. Some say that his guilty conscience must have caught up with him but a person who was capable of doing what he did, stretching the limits of humanity, should certainly not have the excuse of a guilty conscience in his favour. Guilt is human and he was not.

I hope it was a murder, it is unfair that he should die with a noose of his own making. Maybe there were demons his mind killing him, forcing him to end it all. But who created those demons? He himself did. Again, I hope it was a murder.

So, what about the concept of the right to a fair trial and punishment awarded by a court of law? Well we can brush that aside by the same logic and laws, which allow murderers and rapists to walk free among us or live in peace in jail while the courts take years to conclude a case during which the victim is made to relive the horror again and again and made an object of the society’s own ill fitting judgements, taunts and blame.

I feel the strength draining out of me as I write this. I am outraged, but more than that, I am distressed and disturbed. And all this by just being an onlooker to the heinous crimes happening around me. I can’t begin to imagine what the actual victims, their family and friends are going through. Let us hope and pray for peace and justice and look forward to the day when we can say ‘Incredible India’ without a hint of sarcasm.

Please refer http://www.ndtv.com/topic/delhi-rape to read more about the Dec 16^th gang rape in New Delhi.